He offered Audrey a fond smile, before looking back to Varker. His smile was a little crooked.
"Clem, I've always been capable of playing hard ball. I just don't unless it matters." His smile was warm. Soft. "I think it's telling when I say that one of my favorite people is Arthur Lester."
"Arthur Lester is a twat." That might be a little harsh, but he thinks maybe its also fair most of the time. Arthur might even agree with him.
He blows a breath out himself and turns to stare down at their teacups, too hot to drink quite yet. "I am still grieving. I won't be taking his ring off, I have no plans or desire to suffer my trials here sober, and I'm a dead man myself, some days more so than others." What chips he has are there then, pushed forward.
"Why you feel like any of that weighs less than what you think you see in me, I couldn't possibly understand... but I do think I have been failing miserably at being your friend. Probably because I want more than that. Funny how I never seem to get that right no matter what the reason."
"He can be, yes." Oscar wasn't going to deny it. Arthur knew he could be an twat of the highest degree.
Gently, he moved to pull away, if only to serve Clement his tea, and offer it to him.
"We don't have to despair at you, when I've been a terrible friend, wanting you too." He shook his head. "But...I know too, that I can't return to your world. Rather, I don't want to leave my flock. Not forever."
"You've been far better than I have." He huffs, taking the cup, pulling his knee up and resting it there. Its warm even through his pants.
"I wouldn't ask you to do that for me." He sucks his teeth, considering his wording. "And...if I could leave, I wouldn't go home anyways. Not...not until I can try again." He glances up, finally catching Oscar's eyes again, "this...has an expiration date. Not that I'd forget you, I couldn't. Just- a divergence."
One neither of them will budge on, and he respects that, but cant in good consciousness assume Oscar will be okay without telling him up front.
"But that doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my time in hell pretending I don't care about you, because I do."
Once Varker had his cup, he picked up his own, letting it rest on his lap.
"You have your own people you wish to save. And I would never deny you that either. This is...only while we're here." He sighed. There was a heaviness to having it spoken out loud, but a relief too. They knew where they stood.
"Then let's have what we have. And consider it a blessing while we are together- as friends, or lovers. I won't ask what you can't give."
He doesn't like that it feels this way, that Oscar looks so sad thinking about how it might be over when they've only started putting a name to it.
"It doesn't end, Oscar. Not in separation, not in death." He thinks the only way it does is how Norton had literally erased the traces of it from his mind, and still there is a longing left behind. To know what he forgot.
He can wait to have tea a little longer, setting the cup aside, "come over here."
They had been through so much, that it felt sad that in a way, it felt like giving up. But Varker was right- they weren't giving up. They had the blessing of time together.
Oscar set his cup back on the table, and moved so they were sitting together properly, hip brushing against hip.
It's cute that Oscar thinks thats all he wanted, sitting up to settle himself in the other man's lap, facing him.
He doesn't drape, so much as take up his space, running a hand through his curls for both the comfort of it and the control. He looks into his eyes a good long moment as if daring him to continue being sad before he says, "stop saying 'lovers', that's far too much detail. There should be a very limited number of people spending time thinking about how you look on your back, Oscar. Pick something else."
Oscar knew Clement would sit where he wanted. He just didn't expect there to be hair petting too.
There was a part of him that thought he wouldn't mind it if Clement jerked his head back with a bit of hair pulling.
"Well...I'm not going to call us boyfriends. We're not boys. We're men." He huffed. "I'm sure there's other men here who'd love to see you on your back. What do you suggest?"
Oh, he can Oscar, you just have to ask for it. "A little juvenile, isn't it?" He agrees. He hasnt had a boyfriend since college, and he hadn't called Steward that either.
"They might want to, but they won't. I'm not twenty any more, and I'd rather be picky than spoiled for choices." He pushes some of his hair out of his face, tucking a curl behind his ear, "partner leaves more to the imagination."
He didn't think Steward would like being called a boyfriend. The hair pulling...they'd get into that later.
He still leaned against his hand.
"Partners sounds wonderful. But with partners- you want it to be only you and me, romantic and in bed?" Just to clarify. Oscar wasn't exactly known for going after everyone on board.
Varker considers the question, unsure how much he would need to worry about, though he does think its important to know basics. Finer details could be talked about later, "I'm not going to stop you from making connections, but I would like to know about them. It wouldn't feel safe if I wasn't aware of other partners, even if disease isn't a factor here. And...I'm not going to say that I won't be jealous if it's more than sex, but I will try and not be a bitch about it."
He tilts his head, curious, "does that sound fair to you?"
"That would be more then fair." He considered, before nodding. His arm went around Varker's hip, his hand lightly touching his back.
"I mean- there is currently someone, though it isn't romantic. It is...complicated. but er- you'll have to show me how modern condoms work. And, to clarify- I don't need sex. So please don't feel the need to push yourself."
He remembers vaguely that Oscar had said so before, but he had been very drunk, and he doesn't think there had been more detail beside that. "More complicated? I'm starting to think you might go looking for it instead of complicated coming to find you." Its more a tease than anything.
Audrey thrums, voicing Varker's own pleasure at being held and he's trying not to be irritated with her at vocalizing it. "That isnt a hard thing to learn, though I'm...working on that myself. I can't say I've enjoyed being celebate." He is working on ways to get himself more comfortable, but he certainly isnt there yet.
He mulls over what they've presented and nods, "was there anything else you wanted to set a ground rule on?"
"Me? Never. It always springs on me from behind." He smiled, rubbing Varker's lower back. He would have to give her some affection too- she might miss the feeling of having their shared head rubbed.
"I think, the only obvious thing is...sleeping over and liquor. For me, I won't be angry if you come over drunk, or have your own flask. But I stopped drinking for Vincent’s sake, and I want to keep it going."
He shook his head. "So none for me. And...how would you like the sleeping arrangements? Set times a week, text messages if one of us can't come over? Do you want me to sleep over?"
He considered something else. "Would Audrey...witness us...being intimate?"
Varker makes a face, not at the idea of Oscar not partaking, but at Vincent, "He's rather annoying, isn't he? He had this idea that I needed to be told I should apologize." He knew, he just hadn't wanted to, and the young man sticking his nose in it didn't help.
He waves a hand as if to dismiss the irritation and continues on, "anyways, would you like me to be discrete about it? I dont plan on bringing any alcohol in here that cant fit in my pocket, but if it is...hard, seeing it. I will at least make an effort." He doesn't like the idea of hiding it, that felt like a step in the wrong direction, but at least he can ask.
Leaning more of his weight back into Oscar's arm, he cant help but laugh, shaking his head, "I dont tend to put my relations on a schedule, but if I'm able to use my communicator I will let you know if I'm coming by. And preferably if we have a choice, it's here. Not that I'm ashamed of you, but Norton sticks his nose in my business enough I don't need him hovering and threatening you with a butter knife or what ever." He likes the amount of privacy Oscar's cabin has compared to his own accommodations. Norton's is nice, and it leaves him his own private space back in his office cabin, but he doesn't think he's willing to commit to so much togetherness so soon.
At the last question he frowns, glancing up at the baby in question, "currently? Yes. But...I'm trying to discretely ask Norton to fix that. He'll give me looks if I point out I want the option to settle her down for sex." He knows he would in a heart beat if thats what it was truly for, but he has some sense of modesty even if he does tend to tell the man more than most.
Oscar raised his eyebrows. "Vincent is very protective of me. He also didn't want me to be a pushover."
They both knew that Varker needed to apologize. But some people would poke out of love for Oscar, especially when he moped all week- as he saw it anyway.
Oscar gave him a little squeeze. "I see it all the time, Clement. I just don't want you to make a liquor cache here. I got rid of mine."
He had no idea what happened to his last one. He didn't want to know.
"But I'm fine with having us here. We can enjoy just being together. You can introduce me to- to television shows."
He paused. "If Norton gets to be too much, all three of us can have a discussion. Especially since..."
His eyes drifted down. "I think I could at least...offer some physical relief in certain ways. It might be awkward if she gets excited."
He knew it wasn't the entire reason Clement wanted Audrey shut down time. But now the offer was there.
"He can go be protective of you at someone else." Is he being grumpy and slightly unreasonable about it? Yes. Though he wouldnt say that Vincent should stop, just he doesn't appreciate it.
"As much as I have gotten handsy with you in the Lounge, I am not the most...publicly affectionate person. Not like that, anyways. So I appreciate it." Perhaps when he's more comfortable, less fragile. But he does tend to keep his relations behind closed doors.
He isn't all that interested in the idea of pulling Norton aside with the three of them, but if necessary he supposed if it got to they they could. "Let me worry about Audrey for now. It's...good for me, in ways shoving her off to someone else isn’t."
"Mmm." He certainly wasn't tell Vincent that. Sometimes, Varker could use a jab from someone as a little cranky reminder. Petty? Maybe.
"I don't feel comfortable being overly affectionate in public. I am not ashamed of us. I will not be ashamed of us. But I don't need to make us a display to show how much I care."
He offered a gentle squeeze. "I was...rather, offering...ahem." He coughed. "To give you blowjobs. But ah. You can be in charge of her."
Varker, not having been thinking too much about sex, pauses, his fingers still tangled up in his curls.
"Oh." He licks his lips, pressing them together as his eyes drift down to Oscar's mouth, back up to his eyes again.
"I- um." He wouldn't say no. He wants that, though is still rather frustrated himself that his habit and depression has left him rather limp. The silence stretches a little longer before, "god would you look good doing it too...damn."
It's Oscars own embarrassment that pulls him out of the surprise, his expression relaxing and that predatory smile coming back into play.
"Makes a man want to rush to wellness, Oscar, offering something like that." He probably shouldn't, but that hand tightens it's grip in his hair, giving it a gentle tug.
"You'll get your chance, I couldn't pass that up, anyways. And it'll be good for both of us, I'll make sure not to play too hard."
He really did like to tease and make him squirm, the good chemist. To be fair- Oscar also liked doing so. He just got flustered talking about the deed with someone he wanted to do it with.
It may not have helped that his breath caught at the hair tug. Oh goodness.
"Oh," He sounded breathless. "I'm sure we have work around if you play too hard."
Clement cant help but find it cute, watching him get flustered, gently scratching his scalp where he had pulled.
He might be straddling Oscar's lap, but he would feel bad if he riled him up too much with nowhere to put that energy.
He does lean in a little draping an arm over his shoulder and whisper in his ear, "that's what safewords are for, Oscar."
He sets back again, kissing his cheek as he does and looks pleased with himself, "I'll stop teasing you now. It isn't fair when I can't follow through."
The head scratches were nice, but the mention of safeword- even if he didn't entirely understand what it meant- he had a full body shiver, and he swallowed.
"Ah, yes, of course." He cleared his throat, and rubbed Clement's back. "I should, um, mention...I am not a virgin. Not anymore."
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Re: After dinner unannounced
"Clem, I've always been capable of playing hard ball. I just don't unless it matters." His smile was warm. Soft. "I think it's telling when I say that one of my favorite people is Arthur Lester."
Re: After dinner unannounced
He blows a breath out himself and turns to stare down at their teacups, too hot to drink quite yet. "I am still grieving. I won't be taking his ring off, I have no plans or desire to suffer my trials here sober, and I'm a dead man myself, some days more so than others." What chips he has are there then, pushed forward.
"Why you feel like any of that weighs less than what you think you see in me, I couldn't possibly understand... but I do think I have been failing miserably at being your friend. Probably because I want more than that. Funny how I never seem to get that right no matter what the reason."
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Gently, he moved to pull away, if only to serve Clement his tea, and offer it to him.
"We don't have to despair at you, when I've been a terrible friend, wanting you too." He shook his head. "But...I know too, that I can't return to your world. Rather, I don't want to leave my flock. Not forever."
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"I wouldn't ask you to do that for me." He sucks his teeth, considering his wording. "And...if I could leave, I wouldn't go home anyways. Not...not until I can try again." He glances up, finally catching Oscar's eyes again, "this...has an expiration date. Not that I'd forget you, I couldn't. Just- a divergence."
One neither of them will budge on, and he respects that, but cant in good consciousness assume Oscar will be okay without telling him up front.
"But that doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my time in hell pretending I don't care about you, because I do."
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"You have your own people you wish to save. And I would never deny you that either. This is...only while we're here." He sighed. There was a heaviness to having it spoken out loud, but a relief too. They knew where they stood.
"Then let's have what we have. And consider it a blessing while we are together- as friends, or lovers. I won't ask what you can't give."
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"It doesn't end, Oscar. Not in separation, not in death." He thinks the only way it does is how Norton had literally erased the traces of it from his mind, and still there is a longing left behind. To know what he forgot.
He can wait to have tea a little longer, setting the cup aside, "come over here."
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Oscar set his cup back on the table, and moved so they were sitting together properly, hip brushing against hip.
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He doesn't drape, so much as take up his space, running a hand through his curls for both the comfort of it and the control. He looks into his eyes a good long moment as if daring him to continue being sad before he says, "stop saying 'lovers', that's far too much detail. There should be a very limited number of people spending time thinking about how you look on your back, Oscar. Pick something else."
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There was a part of him that thought he wouldn't mind it if Clement jerked his head back with a bit of hair pulling.
"Well...I'm not going to call us boyfriends. We're not boys. We're men." He huffed. "I'm sure there's other men here who'd love to see you on your back. What do you suggest?"
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"They might want to, but they won't. I'm not twenty any more, and I'd rather be picky than spoiled for choices." He pushes some of his hair out of his face, tucking a curl behind his ear, "partner leaves more to the imagination."
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He still leaned against his hand.
"Partners sounds wonderful. But with partners- you want it to be only you and me, romantic and in bed?" Just to clarify. Oscar wasn't exactly known for going after everyone on board.
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He tilts his head, curious, "does that sound fair to you?"
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"I mean- there is currently someone, though it isn't romantic. It is...complicated. but er- you'll have to show me how modern condoms work. And, to clarify- I don't need sex. So please don't feel the need to push yourself."
He looked him in the eyes. "Is that fair?"
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Audrey thrums, voicing Varker's own pleasure at being held and he's trying not to be irritated with her at vocalizing it. "That isnt a hard thing to learn, though I'm...working on that myself. I can't say I've enjoyed being celebate." He is working on ways to get himself more comfortable, but he certainly isnt there yet.
He mulls over what they've presented and nods, "was there anything else you wanted to set a ground rule on?"
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"I think, the only obvious thing is...sleeping over and liquor. For me, I won't be angry if you come over drunk, or have your own flask. But I stopped drinking for Vincent’s sake, and I want to keep it going."
He shook his head. "So none for me. And...how would you like the sleeping arrangements? Set times a week, text messages if one of us can't come over? Do you want me to sleep over?"
He considered something else. "Would Audrey...witness us...being intimate?"
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He waves a hand as if to dismiss the irritation and continues on, "anyways, would you like me to be discrete about it? I dont plan on bringing any alcohol in here that cant fit in my pocket, but if it is...hard, seeing it. I will at least make an effort." He doesn't like the idea of hiding it, that felt like a step in the wrong direction, but at least he can ask.
Leaning more of his weight back into Oscar's arm, he cant help but laugh, shaking his head, "I dont tend to put my relations on a schedule, but if I'm able to use my communicator I will let you know if I'm coming by. And preferably if we have a choice, it's here. Not that I'm ashamed of you, but Norton sticks his nose in my business enough I don't need him hovering and threatening you with a butter knife or what ever." He likes the amount of privacy Oscar's cabin has compared to his own accommodations. Norton's is nice, and it leaves him his own private space back in his office cabin, but he doesn't think he's willing to commit to so much togetherness so soon.
At the last question he frowns, glancing up at the baby in question, "currently? Yes. But...I'm trying to discretely ask Norton to fix that. He'll give me looks if I point out I want the option to settle her down for sex." He knows he would in a heart beat if thats what it was truly for, but he has some sense of modesty even if he does tend to tell the man more than most.
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They both knew that Varker needed to apologize. But some people would poke out of love for Oscar, especially when he moped all week- as he saw it anyway.
Oscar gave him a little squeeze. "I see it all the time, Clement. I just don't want you to make a liquor cache here. I got rid of mine."
He had no idea what happened to his last one. He didn't want to know.
"But I'm fine with having us here. We can enjoy just being together. You can introduce me to- to television shows."
He paused. "If Norton gets to be too much, all three of us can have a discussion. Especially since..."
His eyes drifted down. "I think I could at least...offer some physical relief in certain ways. It might be awkward if she gets excited."
He knew it wasn't the entire reason Clement wanted Audrey shut down time. But now the offer was there.
Re: After dinner unannounced
"As much as I have gotten handsy with you in the Lounge, I am not the most...publicly affectionate person. Not like that, anyways. So I appreciate it." Perhaps when he's more comfortable, less fragile. But he does tend to keep his relations behind closed doors.
He isn't all that interested in the idea of pulling Norton aside with the three of them, but if necessary he supposed if it got to they they could. "Let me worry about Audrey for now. It's...good for me, in ways shoving her off to someone else isn’t."
Re: After dinner unannounced
"I don't feel comfortable being overly affectionate in public. I am not ashamed of us. I will not be ashamed of us. But I don't need to make us a display to show how much I care."
He offered a gentle squeeze. "I was...rather, offering...ahem." He coughed. "To give you blowjobs. But ah. You can be in charge of her."
Re: After dinner unannounced
"Oh." He licks his lips, pressing them together as his eyes drift down to Oscar's mouth, back up to his eyes again.
"I- um." He wouldn't say no. He wants that, though is still rather frustrated himself that his habit and depression has left him rather limp. The silence stretches a little longer before, "god would you look good doing it too...damn."
Completely derailed, Oscar.
Re: After dinner unannounced
He offered an embarrassed laugh.
"I like...the idea of pleasing you. Having you...guide me. When you want to. If that's okay."
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"Makes a man want to rush to wellness, Oscar, offering something like that." He probably shouldn't, but that hand tightens it's grip in his hair, giving it a gentle tug.
"You'll get your chance, I couldn't pass that up, anyways. And it'll be good for both of us, I'll make sure not to play too hard."
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It may not have helped that his breath caught at the hair tug. Oh goodness.
"Oh," He sounded breathless. "I'm sure we have work around if you play too hard."
Re: After dinner unannounced
He might be straddling Oscar's lap, but he would feel bad if he riled him up too much with nowhere to put that energy.
He does lean in a little draping an arm over his shoulder and whisper in his ear, "that's what safewords are for, Oscar."
He sets back again, kissing his cheek as he does and looks pleased with himself, "I'll stop teasing you now. It isn't fair when I can't follow through."
Re: After dinner unannounced
"Ah, yes, of course." He cleared his throat, and rubbed Clement's back. "I should, um, mention...I am not a virgin. Not anymore."
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