He didn't think Steward would like being called a boyfriend. The hair pulling...they'd get into that later.
He still leaned against his hand.
"Partners sounds wonderful. But with partners- you want it to be only you and me, romantic and in bed?" Just to clarify. Oscar wasn't exactly known for going after everyone on board.
Varker considers the question, unsure how much he would need to worry about, though he does think its important to know basics. Finer details could be talked about later, "I'm not going to stop you from making connections, but I would like to know about them. It wouldn't feel safe if I wasn't aware of other partners, even if disease isn't a factor here. And...I'm not going to say that I won't be jealous if it's more than sex, but I will try and not be a bitch about it."
He tilts his head, curious, "does that sound fair to you?"
"That would be more then fair." He considered, before nodding. His arm went around Varker's hip, his hand lightly touching his back.
"I mean- there is currently someone, though it isn't romantic. It is...complicated. but er- you'll have to show me how modern condoms work. And, to clarify- I don't need sex. So please don't feel the need to push yourself."
He remembers vaguely that Oscar had said so before, but he had been very drunk, and he doesn't think there had been more detail beside that. "More complicated? I'm starting to think you might go looking for it instead of complicated coming to find you." Its more a tease than anything.
Audrey thrums, voicing Varker's own pleasure at being held and he's trying not to be irritated with her at vocalizing it. "That isnt a hard thing to learn, though I'm...working on that myself. I can't say I've enjoyed being celebate." He is working on ways to get himself more comfortable, but he certainly isnt there yet.
He mulls over what they've presented and nods, "was there anything else you wanted to set a ground rule on?"
"Me? Never. It always springs on me from behind." He smiled, rubbing Varker's lower back. He would have to give her some affection too- she might miss the feeling of having their shared head rubbed.
"I think, the only obvious thing is...sleeping over and liquor. For me, I won't be angry if you come over drunk, or have your own flask. But I stopped drinking for Vincent’s sake, and I want to keep it going."
He shook his head. "So none for me. And...how would you like the sleeping arrangements? Set times a week, text messages if one of us can't come over? Do you want me to sleep over?"
He considered something else. "Would Audrey...witness us...being intimate?"
Varker makes a face, not at the idea of Oscar not partaking, but at Vincent, "He's rather annoying, isn't he? He had this idea that I needed to be told I should apologize." He knew, he just hadn't wanted to, and the young man sticking his nose in it didn't help.
He waves a hand as if to dismiss the irritation and continues on, "anyways, would you like me to be discrete about it? I dont plan on bringing any alcohol in here that cant fit in my pocket, but if it is...hard, seeing it. I will at least make an effort." He doesn't like the idea of hiding it, that felt like a step in the wrong direction, but at least he can ask.
Leaning more of his weight back into Oscar's arm, he cant help but laugh, shaking his head, "I dont tend to put my relations on a schedule, but if I'm able to use my communicator I will let you know if I'm coming by. And preferably if we have a choice, it's here. Not that I'm ashamed of you, but Norton sticks his nose in my business enough I don't need him hovering and threatening you with a butter knife or what ever." He likes the amount of privacy Oscar's cabin has compared to his own accommodations. Norton's is nice, and it leaves him his own private space back in his office cabin, but he doesn't think he's willing to commit to so much togetherness so soon.
At the last question he frowns, glancing up at the baby in question, "currently? Yes. But...I'm trying to discretely ask Norton to fix that. He'll give me looks if I point out I want the option to settle her down for sex." He knows he would in a heart beat if thats what it was truly for, but he has some sense of modesty even if he does tend to tell the man more than most.
Oscar raised his eyebrows. "Vincent is very protective of me. He also didn't want me to be a pushover."
They both knew that Varker needed to apologize. But some people would poke out of love for Oscar, especially when he moped all week- as he saw it anyway.
Oscar gave him a little squeeze. "I see it all the time, Clement. I just don't want you to make a liquor cache here. I got rid of mine."
He had no idea what happened to his last one. He didn't want to know.
"But I'm fine with having us here. We can enjoy just being together. You can introduce me to- to television shows."
He paused. "If Norton gets to be too much, all three of us can have a discussion. Especially since..."
His eyes drifted down. "I think I could at least...offer some physical relief in certain ways. It might be awkward if she gets excited."
He knew it wasn't the entire reason Clement wanted Audrey shut down time. But now the offer was there.
"He can go be protective of you at someone else." Is he being grumpy and slightly unreasonable about it? Yes. Though he wouldnt say that Vincent should stop, just he doesn't appreciate it.
"As much as I have gotten handsy with you in the Lounge, I am not the most...publicly affectionate person. Not like that, anyways. So I appreciate it." Perhaps when he's more comfortable, less fragile. But he does tend to keep his relations behind closed doors.
He isn't all that interested in the idea of pulling Norton aside with the three of them, but if necessary he supposed if it got to they they could. "Let me worry about Audrey for now. It's...good for me, in ways shoving her off to someone else isn’t."
"Mmm." He certainly wasn't tell Vincent that. Sometimes, Varker could use a jab from someone as a little cranky reminder. Petty? Maybe.
"I don't feel comfortable being overly affectionate in public. I am not ashamed of us. I will not be ashamed of us. But I don't need to make us a display to show how much I care."
He offered a gentle squeeze. "I was...rather, offering...ahem." He coughed. "To give you blowjobs. But ah. You can be in charge of her."
Varker, not having been thinking too much about sex, pauses, his fingers still tangled up in his curls.
"Oh." He licks his lips, pressing them together as his eyes drift down to Oscar's mouth, back up to his eyes again.
"I- um." He wouldn't say no. He wants that, though is still rather frustrated himself that his habit and depression has left him rather limp. The silence stretches a little longer before, "god would you look good doing it too...damn."
It's Oscars own embarrassment that pulls him out of the surprise, his expression relaxing and that predatory smile coming back into play.
"Makes a man want to rush to wellness, Oscar, offering something like that." He probably shouldn't, but that hand tightens it's grip in his hair, giving it a gentle tug.
"You'll get your chance, I couldn't pass that up, anyways. And it'll be good for both of us, I'll make sure not to play too hard."
He really did like to tease and make him squirm, the good chemist. To be fair- Oscar also liked doing so. He just got flustered talking about the deed with someone he wanted to do it with.
It may not have helped that his breath caught at the hair tug. Oh goodness.
"Oh," He sounded breathless. "I'm sure we have work around if you play too hard."
Clement cant help but find it cute, watching him get flustered, gently scratching his scalp where he had pulled.
He might be straddling Oscar's lap, but he would feel bad if he riled him up too much with nowhere to put that energy.
He does lean in a little draping an arm over his shoulder and whisper in his ear, "that's what safewords are for, Oscar."
He sets back again, kissing his cheek as he does and looks pleased with himself, "I'll stop teasing you now. It isn't fair when I can't follow through."
The head scratches were nice, but the mention of safeword- even if he didn't entirely understand what it meant- he had a full body shiver, and he swallowed.
"Ah, yes, of course." He cleared his throat, and rubbed Clement's back. "I should, um, mention...I am not a virgin. Not anymore."
"No, not breach. If that counts, I would be considered vaguely hedonistic from the last one."
He shook his head, but he was smiling, despite all the teasing.
"It's not that. He was...my gateway to realizing that I needed to be friends, respect someone before there was sexual desire. But, he didn't...ask me to. I wanted the connection."
He paused. "I suppose I should say that women are attractive too. To me, I mean."
"Vaguely? Hmm. I could say the same for myself...Jedao certainly enjoyed that version of me." He still thinks about it, though it pissed him off he'd been Norton's father, as if they aren't close in age. Fucking Admiral.
Varker sits back, listening and checking little boxes in his brain of where Oscar seems to fit. Steward was a devout bisexual, and he'd talked him out of dating this god awful woman in college, only to pounce after an evening of drinks shortly after they'd parted.
He still thought she was a boring bitch when ever he thought of her all these years later.
"I am glad you were the one to ask. I have some concerns about you, and consent given the barge and all it's fuckery... It's all too easy to find yourself in a position where you shouldn't but might with the bullshit of the week, or the nature of someone's what ever. Gods and mind-fucking vampires to name a few."
"Abaurycy and I were pretty much head over heels for each other during the last breach. But we've calmed down since then."
Which tracked. But also, Ozzie was a very passionate man.
"But if you're worried about vampires, they have no interest in me. One likes to sit at the bottom of the pool, the other is mad at me for pressing my apology on them." His voice was a little dry. "Though I don't think we are officially God and his priest, John and I do care for each other, deeply. And we have slept together."
It isn't the breach relationship that bothers him. No, that wasn't anything more than a fantasy that either faded to a soft blur of memory or disappeared entirely.
And nevermind the vampires, fucking weirdos the both of them, even if he did, in very specific instances, like Ashton. Those moments were few and far between.
But he can't keep the surprise or building tension of emotion off his face.
"John? That is who you slept with?" John. John fucking Doe and his stupid, beautiful blonde head full of cosmic weirdness and the sort of compassionate kindness people wrote poetry about. The man he'd been avoiding for fear that he might offer him more shit that he didn't deserve after finding the courage to ask him for a candle and receiving the most touching and heart wrenching gift he'd ever received in his god damn life.
Fucking John.
"Isn't that blasphemy?" Better touch that first before he gets too far ahead of himself and leaves to throw things at him.
"I do not place John as the God above all Gods, the King of Kings. I also do not profane nor do I insult the Lord. You're thinking of heresy."
It was a very gentle correction.
"Which, by some definitions, yes. I could be considered a heretic, in some respects. And I have certainly broken my vow of being celibate, with him. For myself."
His smile was faint. "And I can do what I can to make up for the broken vow, and follow his purpose. I have not...chosen John as my God. There's been no conversion. I do see the divinity he has, of course."
Gentle as it was Varker is two seconds away from pointing out that is basically just semantics.
There are plenty of reasons he can think of why that isn't a good idea but currently the one circling the drain as his temper ticks up, is simply 'I don't like it'.
He blames sobriety for the fact that he is struggling to be anything but increasingly frustrated and upset about it.
"You were upset when he was getting married." He remembers Oscar didn't seem as interested as he thought he would be. That he'd even offered to attend the small funeral service instead. "Did you have a conversation then, or did he just tell you?" Because now he's looking for a reason to be justifiably mad rather than what ever the hell he currently is.
He didn't know that Clement didn't like John so much. Or maybe it was because John was nice and gentle- and if he wasn't married, would have been a better fit for Oscar, being from the same world and all.
"I was." He agreed. And he glanced away, thinking of how he felt that day, how it would have been if...well. Things had not gone so well. He could still remember how Arthur had splashed them both with water.
"It was a....conversation. It was not..." He pulled his hand away from Clement to rub his face. "...it was difficult for both of us. Arthur had to get involved to help us both. I was...upset."
If Varker were forced he would admit that he very much does like John. He doesn't think that he ever will be able to give him anything that means as much to him as the candle he was gifted. That sort of debt, not that John would call it such, weighs on him for the fact that John's kindness is constantly just a little too much.
And now just another reason aside from the other various ones he already had, to be jealous of John.
"I'm sure you were." He says with some heat to it, slipping off Oscar's lap so he can move. It's been a while since he'd felt this sort of rage bubbling under the surface, and he knows he should say something to Norton, they'd talked about this, and yet that throws a hitch in his want to keep this new, fragile thing to himself, if only for a little while.
"He isn't- he doesn't..." Varker growls in frustration and Audrey grumbles with him, trying to get words to work through and finding nothing.
Oscar would know that for John, he doesn't need something like the candle, kind as it was, given back. Instead, presence was his bread and his water, things he needed to feel fulfilled. But that might not be the answer.
Not yet. Not for Varker as he slips away and prowls around like a caged beast.
And Oscar finds the other man still so beautiful in his eyes even with his rage. But he is quiet for a few more moments, letting the blond settle his thoughts. Or at least try to find words.
"He shouldn't be allowed to marry her, when he has me? Or make me upset? Clem, I feel blessed- truly blessed- with what company and love I receive." He kept watching him.
"I do not expect to be cared for as a person at all. By anyone."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: After dinner unannounced
He still leaned against his hand.
"Partners sounds wonderful. But with partners- you want it to be only you and me, romantic and in bed?" Just to clarify. Oscar wasn't exactly known for going after everyone on board.
Re: After dinner unannounced
He tilts his head, curious, "does that sound fair to you?"
Re: After dinner unannounced
"I mean- there is currently someone, though it isn't romantic. It is...complicated. but er- you'll have to show me how modern condoms work. And, to clarify- I don't need sex. So please don't feel the need to push yourself."
He looked him in the eyes. "Is that fair?"
Re: After dinner unannounced
Audrey thrums, voicing Varker's own pleasure at being held and he's trying not to be irritated with her at vocalizing it. "That isnt a hard thing to learn, though I'm...working on that myself. I can't say I've enjoyed being celebate." He is working on ways to get himself more comfortable, but he certainly isnt there yet.
He mulls over what they've presented and nods, "was there anything else you wanted to set a ground rule on?"
Re: After dinner unannounced
"I think, the only obvious thing is...sleeping over and liquor. For me, I won't be angry if you come over drunk, or have your own flask. But I stopped drinking for Vincent’s sake, and I want to keep it going."
He shook his head. "So none for me. And...how would you like the sleeping arrangements? Set times a week, text messages if one of us can't come over? Do you want me to sleep over?"
He considered something else. "Would Audrey...witness us...being intimate?"
Re: After dinner unannounced
He waves a hand as if to dismiss the irritation and continues on, "anyways, would you like me to be discrete about it? I dont plan on bringing any alcohol in here that cant fit in my pocket, but if it is...hard, seeing it. I will at least make an effort." He doesn't like the idea of hiding it, that felt like a step in the wrong direction, but at least he can ask.
Leaning more of his weight back into Oscar's arm, he cant help but laugh, shaking his head, "I dont tend to put my relations on a schedule, but if I'm able to use my communicator I will let you know if I'm coming by. And preferably if we have a choice, it's here. Not that I'm ashamed of you, but Norton sticks his nose in my business enough I don't need him hovering and threatening you with a butter knife or what ever." He likes the amount of privacy Oscar's cabin has compared to his own accommodations. Norton's is nice, and it leaves him his own private space back in his office cabin, but he doesn't think he's willing to commit to so much togetherness so soon.
At the last question he frowns, glancing up at the baby in question, "currently? Yes. But...I'm trying to discretely ask Norton to fix that. He'll give me looks if I point out I want the option to settle her down for sex." He knows he would in a heart beat if thats what it was truly for, but he has some sense of modesty even if he does tend to tell the man more than most.
Re: After dinner unannounced
They both knew that Varker needed to apologize. But some people would poke out of love for Oscar, especially when he moped all week- as he saw it anyway.
Oscar gave him a little squeeze. "I see it all the time, Clement. I just don't want you to make a liquor cache here. I got rid of mine."
He had no idea what happened to his last one. He didn't want to know.
"But I'm fine with having us here. We can enjoy just being together. You can introduce me to- to television shows."
He paused. "If Norton gets to be too much, all three of us can have a discussion. Especially since..."
His eyes drifted down. "I think I could at least...offer some physical relief in certain ways. It might be awkward if she gets excited."
He knew it wasn't the entire reason Clement wanted Audrey shut down time. But now the offer was there.
Re: After dinner unannounced
"As much as I have gotten handsy with you in the Lounge, I am not the most...publicly affectionate person. Not like that, anyways. So I appreciate it." Perhaps when he's more comfortable, less fragile. But he does tend to keep his relations behind closed doors.
He isn't all that interested in the idea of pulling Norton aside with the three of them, but if necessary he supposed if it got to they they could. "Let me worry about Audrey for now. It's...good for me, in ways shoving her off to someone else isn’t."
Re: After dinner unannounced
"I don't feel comfortable being overly affectionate in public. I am not ashamed of us. I will not be ashamed of us. But I don't need to make us a display to show how much I care."
He offered a gentle squeeze. "I was...rather, offering...ahem." He coughed. "To give you blowjobs. But ah. You can be in charge of her."
Re: After dinner unannounced
"Oh." He licks his lips, pressing them together as his eyes drift down to Oscar's mouth, back up to his eyes again.
"I- um." He wouldn't say no. He wants that, though is still rather frustrated himself that his habit and depression has left him rather limp. The silence stretches a little longer before, "god would you look good doing it too...damn."
Completely derailed, Oscar.
Re: After dinner unannounced
He offered an embarrassed laugh.
"I like...the idea of pleasing you. Having you...guide me. When you want to. If that's okay."
Re: After dinner unannounced
"Makes a man want to rush to wellness, Oscar, offering something like that." He probably shouldn't, but that hand tightens it's grip in his hair, giving it a gentle tug.
"You'll get your chance, I couldn't pass that up, anyways. And it'll be good for both of us, I'll make sure not to play too hard."
Re: After dinner unannounced
It may not have helped that his breath caught at the hair tug. Oh goodness.
"Oh," He sounded breathless. "I'm sure we have work around if you play too hard."
Re: After dinner unannounced
He might be straddling Oscar's lap, but he would feel bad if he riled him up too much with nowhere to put that energy.
He does lean in a little draping an arm over his shoulder and whisper in his ear, "that's what safewords are for, Oscar."
He sets back again, kissing his cheek as he does and looks pleased with himself, "I'll stop teasing you now. It isn't fair when I can't follow through."
Re: After dinner unannounced
"Ah, yes, of course." He cleared his throat, and rubbed Clement's back. "I should, um, mention...I am not a virgin. Not anymore."
Re: After dinner unannounced
"You mentioned before. I assume you dont just mean for a breach either, mm?" Seeing as they had also been intimate during one.
"Are they your 'it's complicated'? I thought priests usually take a vow of celibacy, so I am a little curious who tempted you first."
Re: After dinner unannounced
He shook his head, but he was smiling, despite all the teasing.
"It's not that. He was...my gateway to realizing that I needed to be friends, respect someone before there was sexual desire. But, he didn't...ask me to. I wanted the connection."
He paused. "I suppose I should say that women are attractive too. To me, I mean."
Re: After dinner unannounced
Varker sits back, listening and checking little boxes in his brain of where Oscar seems to fit. Steward was a devout bisexual, and he'd talked him out of dating this god awful woman in college, only to pounce after an evening of drinks shortly after they'd parted.
He still thought she was a boring bitch when ever he thought of her all these years later.
"I am glad you were the one to ask. I have some concerns about you, and consent given the barge and all it's fuckery... It's all too easy to find yourself in a position where you shouldn't but might with the bullshit of the week, or the nature of someone's what ever. Gods and mind-fucking vampires to name a few."
Re: After dinner unannounced
Which tracked. But also, Ozzie was a very passionate man.
"But if you're worried about vampires, they have no interest in me. One likes to sit at the bottom of the pool, the other is mad at me for pressing my apology on them." His voice was a little dry. "Though I don't think we are officially God and his priest, John and I do care for each other, deeply. And we have slept together."
And he waited to see what would happen.
Re: After dinner unannounced
And nevermind the vampires, fucking weirdos the both of them, even if he did, in very specific instances, like Ashton. Those moments were few and far between.
But he can't keep the surprise or building tension of emotion off his face.
"John? That is who you slept with?" John. John fucking Doe and his stupid, beautiful blonde head full of cosmic weirdness and the sort of compassionate kindness people wrote poetry about. The man he'd been avoiding for fear that he might offer him more shit that he didn't deserve after finding the courage to ask him for a candle and receiving the most touching and heart wrenching gift he'd ever received in his god damn life.
Fucking John.
"Isn't that blasphemy?" Better touch that first before he gets too far ahead of himself and leaves to throw things at him.
Re: After dinner unannounced
It was a very gentle correction.
"Which, by some definitions, yes. I could be considered a heretic, in some respects. And I have certainly broken my vow of being celibate, with him. For myself."
His smile was faint. "And I can do what I can to make up for the broken vow, and follow his purpose. I have not...chosen John as my God. There's been no conversion. I do see the divinity he has, of course."
Re: After dinner unannounced
There are plenty of reasons he can think of why that isn't a good idea but currently the one circling the drain as his temper ticks up, is simply 'I don't like it'.
He blames sobriety for the fact that he is struggling to be anything but increasingly frustrated and upset about it.
"You were upset when he was getting married." He remembers Oscar didn't seem as interested as he thought he would be. That he'd even offered to attend the small funeral service instead. "Did you have a conversation then, or did he just tell you?" Because now he's looking for a reason to be justifiably mad rather than what ever the hell he currently is.
Re: After dinner unannounced
"I was." He agreed. And he glanced away, thinking of how he felt that day, how it would have been if...well. Things had not gone so well. He could still remember how Arthur had splashed them both with water.
"It was a....conversation. It was not..." He pulled his hand away from Clement to rub his face. "...it was difficult for both of us. Arthur had to get involved to help us both. I was...upset."
That was putting it very kindly.
Re: After dinner unannounced
And now just another reason aside from the other various ones he already had, to be jealous of John.
"I'm sure you were." He says with some heat to it, slipping off Oscar's lap so he can move. It's been a while since he'd felt this sort of rage bubbling under the surface, and he knows he should say something to Norton, they'd talked about this, and yet that throws a hitch in his want to keep this new, fragile thing to himself, if only for a little while.
"He isn't- he doesn't..." Varker growls in frustration and Audrey grumbles with him, trying to get words to work through and finding nothing.
Re: After dinner unannounced
Not yet. Not for Varker as he slips away and prowls around like a caged beast.
And Oscar finds the other man still so beautiful in his eyes even with his rage. But he is quiet for a few more moments, letting the blond settle his thoughts. Or at least try to find words.
"He shouldn't be allowed to marry her, when he has me? Or make me upset? Clem, I feel blessed- truly blessed- with what company and love I receive." He kept watching him.
"I do not expect to be cared for as a person at all. By anyone."
Re: After dinner unannounced
Re: After dinner unannounced
Re: After dinner unannounced
Re: After dinner unannounced
Re: After dinner unannounced
Re: After dinner unannounced
Re: After dinner unannounced