If you had the time. Without a- [He trips over the word, swallowing and trying again with as steady a voice as he can.] body, there isn't many options.
[He watches Oscar stand, finding himself not wanting to be alone, but keeping it to himself, closing the open folder on his desk.]
[He needs to find more information on what is traditionally done without a body to bury, but that research has been painfully slow.
Hes still thinking about it when the question comes, blinking in surprise and giving Oscar all his attention.
He almost trips, pushing his plush leather chair back and standing to walk around the desk, clearing his throat when he gets to Oscar. Cant be too eager, obviously, except he is.]
[Thankfully, husband work wasn't pressing and he was used to research. He'd be happy to pick up some notes for Varker, especially as it may be useful in the future on thr Barge.
Though- it seems that Varker still needs all the physical attention he can give.
Without a word, Oscar smiles, and opens his arms to give Varker a full fledged hug.]
[Varker leans into it, though it might be better described as melting. His shoulders dropping a good inch as Oscar's arms come around him.
There is still far too many conflicting feelings tangled up in being embraced by Oscar, but he isn't going to deny himself when he so desperately needs affection amidst the weight of grief.
He tries and fails to not grip Oscar too tightly, but does manage only wet eyes this time rather than tears when he finally pulls away.
He hadn't wanted to.]
I'll- Ill try to come by, for coffee in the morning. Maybe tomorrow?
Just, don't hold your breath. I might disappoint the both of us.
[He held Varker, gently rubbing his back with his one hand. The way that he melted, that he tried to keep himself from completely falling apart...
He'd have to make sure to offer Varker more physical affection in the future, in private so he could use it to bring himself back up to where he needed.
But he let him go, taking in a deep breath and did not speak of those wet eyes.]
If you come by tomorrow, that would be wonderful.
If you don't, you don't. It'll just be too bad you don't get to sit on my new couch.
[He thinks perhaps the thing that gets him the most is how gentle the touch is. Most people don't handle him that way, and he misses that, the idea that he wants or deserves a soft touch.
His posture is stiff when Oscar absolves him of potential guilt, but he does crack a smile, tilting his head in question.]
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Re: Audio
I should research on Hindu funerals then to get other touches right. Things he might like, perhaps.
...A request, if I may?
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[He watches Oscar stand, finding himself not wanting to be alone, but keeping it to himself, closing the open folder on his desk.]
Yes?
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[He sighs. He knows it's selfish and cruel but...]
May I hug you before I go?
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Hes still thinking about it when the question comes, blinking in surprise and giving Oscar all his attention.
He almost trips, pushing his plush leather chair back and standing to walk around the desk, clearing his throat when he gets to Oscar. Cant be too eager, obviously, except he is.]
Please?
Re: Audio
Though- it seems that Varker still needs all the physical attention he can give.
Without a word, Oscar smiles, and opens his arms to give Varker a full fledged hug.]
Re: Audio
There is still far too many conflicting feelings tangled up in being embraced by Oscar, but he isn't going to deny himself when he so desperately needs affection amidst the weight of grief.
He tries and fails to not grip Oscar too tightly, but does manage only wet eyes this time rather than tears when he finally pulls away.
He hadn't wanted to.]
I'll- Ill try to come by, for coffee in the morning. Maybe tomorrow?
Just, don't hold your breath. I might disappoint the both of us.
Re: Audio
He'd have to make sure to offer Varker more physical affection in the future, in private so he could use it to bring himself back up to where he needed.
But he let him go, taking in a deep breath and did not speak of those wet eyes.]
If you come by tomorrow, that would be wonderful.
If you don't, you don't. It'll just be too bad you don't get to sit on my new couch.
Re: Audio
His posture is stiff when Oscar absolves him of potential guilt, but he does crack a smile, tilting his head in question.]
You want me to test out your new couch, Oscar?
I didn't think you were so forward.
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[Oscar blushes, and clears his throat. Now that he has some awareness of Varker and some experience, he gets the joke.]
Not like- not like that Clement. There would be stains.
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There would? Where has your mind gone, father?
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Of course.
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Of course. Now off with you. I've got to finish organizing in here and you're too good of a distraction to get anything done.
I'll...see you tomorrow, Oscar. On your couch even.
Re: Audio
All right. I'll see you tomorrow.
Hopefully, with ah, less fluster on my part.
[And despite it being a bad idea, he gave Clement one final squeeze and turned to go. He'd ask to dote on Audrey later.]