"Dating is the easiest thing you can do here. But Hanna can be a bit of a project," he says without any malice. "And Vincent is - even in that relationship, he's the fucking responsible one."
"Oh, I thought he would be, and from what little Hanna had seen...he's the fun one. I know mostly of relationship trouble, and...mine isn't traditional, currently."
Not with Varker, or John. Since, well, Varker was technically a friend.
"Yeah, mine ain't neither. But - no. Control isn't like that. He doesn't like it. It's more complicated than that. We trained the kids, in our cult, to control themselves. Conditioned them to be monitor themselves because obedience would be rewarded and deviation is shamed. That control extended automatically to others. If they cared about their friends, they'd help keep them in line." He lets out a breath. "So relationships can seem conditional later. They get afraid of being controlled and also a fear of being abandoned. Father Vincent is - well, he's self aware enough to recognize that. But control, for people there, is a tricky subject. And it isn't something we like."
But he listened, knowing that the cult that he had been in that other life- as Vassal, as cult leader- was vastly different. That dealt with madness. Jacob spoke of conditioning and control, and this was something that Jacob would understand. This was far more of Vincent's experience, it seemed.
He slowly nodded. "This is very tricky, especially when I am in a position of authority over Vincent. We at least can argue, productively, without malice. However- if you have any advice in helping a young man...separate himself from an unhealthy mentality...I would appreciate it."
He winces a little. "Eh, now that's the hard part. That involves a whole lot of therapy. And persistence. And making sure that he keeps being aware of his own tendencies."
"And I'm still learning how therapy works." He admitted. "I'm from the 1930s. We didn't have anything like what Sam Walls does here. It sounds more that I'll be...more gently coaxing when he slips."
No raised voices, no snapping. Vincent would cringe, and trust would be lost.
Jacob nods. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know Sam, but uh - yeah. That shit stays
with you. Fortunately, the things Vincent would do wrong wouldn't be
anything worth yelling about."
"I avoid all the shrinks around here," he admits. "Spent a lot of time in therapy with people who don't understand the shit that I went through. That does more harm than good. And that's what I worry about with Father Vincent."
"Doctor Lester has been watching me like a hawk, lately. But that's just because of relapse and health, I think." He smiled, a little sheepish. He had asked for his help, and this was the result.
"But that is understandable. I don't know the first thing about your situation. Vincent..." Oscar grimaced.
"In some ways, we have a similar background. And the time with my kind in a different timeline- it has helped, I hope. I can only hope to listen with an open mind when he does tell me something. It takes a lot of trust and courage."
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He shrugs. "Point is...I didn't know a damn thing. Neither did you. Neither does he."
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"But I agree. He was drowning, all things considered, back home. He hasn't had support, which he should have had."
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He knows. He had Alexei. And he adores him, but it's hard. "Especially when they're fully grown kids who have lived a whole damn life."
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He sighed, shaking his head. "He's...I hope he is making future plans. Wanting a future away from the mindset that he can't effect anything big."
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Not with Varker, or John. Since, well, Varker was technically a friend.
"But I think Vincent likes the control."
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Relationship, Father?
He doesn't ask.
"Yeah, mine ain't neither. But - no. Control isn't like that. He doesn't like it. It's more complicated than that. We trained the kids, in our cult, to control themselves. Conditioned them to be monitor themselves because obedience would be rewarded and deviation is shamed. That control extended automatically to others. If they cared about their friends, they'd help keep them in line." He lets out a breath. "So relationships can seem conditional later. They get afraid of being controlled and also a fear of being abandoned. Father Vincent is - well, he's self aware enough to recognize that. But control, for people there, is a tricky subject. And it isn't something we like."
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It was complicated. Like feelings.
But he listened, knowing that the cult that he had been in that other life- as Vassal, as cult leader- was vastly different. That dealt with madness. Jacob spoke of conditioning and control, and this was something that Jacob would understand. This was far more of Vincent's experience, it seemed.
He slowly nodded. "This is very tricky, especially when I am in a position of authority over Vincent. We at least can argue, productively, without malice. However- if you have any advice in helping a young man...separate himself from an unhealthy mentality...I would appreciate it."
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No raised voices, no snapping. Vincent would cringe, and trust would be lost.
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Jacob nods. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know Sam, but uh - yeah. That shit stays with you. Fortunately, the things Vincent would do wrong wouldn't be anything worth yelling about."
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He offered a gentle shrug.
"But I agree. Nothing worth yelling about."
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"But that is understandable. I don't know the first thing about your situation. Vincent..." Oscar grimaced.
"In some ways, we have a similar background. And the time with my kind in a different timeline- it has helped, I hope. I can only hope to listen with an open mind when he does tell me something. It takes a lot of trust and courage."
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"It does. And I don't think you can fuck it up too badly."
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It was wonderful, really.
"I'm going to try not to. Vincent deserves the best I can offer."
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He snorts. "I think I can handle that."
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